Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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