i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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