so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
