He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
