Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
