i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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