how can u be prego again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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