I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
