Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
