Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
