If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
