best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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