So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
