spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
