Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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