i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize