So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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