Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
