well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
