I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
