This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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