And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
