I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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