You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
