This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
