Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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