dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
