Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
