He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'