Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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