every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
