Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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