I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
