we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize