sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
