Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
