worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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