Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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