Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
