i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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