i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
