Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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