why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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