I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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