tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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