best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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