I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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