My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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