Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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