Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
