When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
