all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
