...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
