Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
