we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
