don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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