Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My penis needs a shock collar
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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