Will you blow on my dice?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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