He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
