I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
