Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
