The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
A bitchslap is in order.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
