I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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