if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
