meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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