She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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