Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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